Lap dancer

Joke: Why do real motorcyclists use Apple computers?
Punchline: Because they hate to crash.

So, how do those guys at TeamBoxer do what they do?

Well, since they like stuff that works, they sure as heck don't use Microsoft Windows, or heaven forbid, Vista.

Here's a much better way: The 13-inch MacBook with Intel Core 2 Duo a 2.16 GHz processor running OS X Leopard.



Joke: Two bikers walk into a bar and ask if it has WiFi.
The bartender says "No, but we've got an upgraded Vista."
Punchline: "Wow, this IS a dive," one biker says.
"Yeah," the other biker says. "But let's go back to the Windows 98 bar. I didn't bring enough money to drink AND buy all-new peripherals."

I upgraded from an old PowerBook this year, and went small so it would fit in a saddlebag, and ease portability overall. But this little unit has got the power to handle everything from inDesign to Photoshop.

Battery life is excellent, and it's proven to be a tough little piece of gear.

We took it on our Colorado adventure, and it proved invaluable. We routinely war-rode or copped free WiFi. The lap allowed us to easily organize, execute, write, edit photos and text, and upload it all.

Joke: How can you tell two motorcyclists are using Apple products?
Punchline: They ride — instead of buying more software, constantly updating security patches, running virus software or closing pop-ups.

A lot of writing and photography took place out in the boonies. We did fast-pass edits and uploads as we passed through puddles of civilization.

We never shut the lap down; it never needed a reboot during the entire eight day trip. Not even when the temps dropped to near freezing in the mountains nor when we were scooting across the high desert in 120° F heat.



On that trip, we sometimes found ourselves fighting over laptop time to make the real-time report come together. One realization was that to truly work efficiently, we might need two laptops, next time. (But the trade-off in additional payload might not be worth it.)

Generally, one of us worked while the other tended to routine chores, shot pics, or slacked back with a cold libation.

We packed it on that trip in Michael's locking tail trunk, in a Buell shoulder sling bag. It often rides in my Airhead in my Buell bag, inside a BMW saddlebag.

Beefs? You bet. The white outside surface shows scuffs and insults way too easy. The keys get grungy fast, especially when you're working off the saddle of a motorcycle in the middle of nowhere. The screen is difficult to keep clean.

Pay hundreds more for a black one with same issues? Give us a break, Mr. Jobs; you're not a cell phone service provider.

Like all my techno-geek stuff, the charger's transformer should be smaller, much smaller.

Bonuses? Uh-huh. The most surprisingly useful feature is the built-in video camera. When you're routinely collaborating with a blogging partner who lives 60 miles up the road, the video conferencing has proven invaluable.

In addition, we're experimenting with taking over each other's desktops remotely, to make faster, better edits. Just one of a ton of new features in Apple's latest operating system, Leopard.

Joke: What's the difference between two Mac guys taking over each other's desktops to get more work done and someone taking over a Windows desktop?
Punchline: The Mac takeover is on purpose. The Windows takeover is by a Russian creating a computer zombie.


Next up: Figuring out how to replace the laptop completely with an iPhone.

The current hurdle: Inputting high-res photos directly into an iPhone.

Whiskey River take me home

OK, is it a tool or a crutch?

You decide.

The bottom line is, Todd likes to visit with ole Tennessee Jack at the end of an evening. When you hit the hotel room after 500 miles or so, the last thing you want to do is make an immediate trip to the liquor store. You want a snort and a shower, in that order.

But those cheap little plastic flasks don't last a week with friends along. So this plastic bottle, which originally held Canadian Mist, now capably holds Old No. 7 on the road.

It stashes neatly and flatly. It's indestructible. It seals tight. And it can serve up several fingers a day, over hotel ice, for about a week.

Need more than that?

Well then, friend, you need help, not a plastic bottle.

Making the circuit

It's a cosmic rule: The only tool you ever need is the one you left at home.

Examples abound with TeamBoxer:

• Tow rope. Needed in Texas panhandle 20 years ago. Ever since packing one, never needed again.

• Jumper cables: Needed in Wisconsin 25 years ago. Never needed (by carrier, at least) again.

New example: This little puppy. It's about $25 at Radio Shack. It's a multimeter and circuit tester. It comes in its own cool little yellow shock-proofed case. It has leads that store in the case. It fits in an Airhead's tool box, or any old tank bag.

We needed one in Colorado this summer when Todd's Airhead had electrical tantrums. We didn't have one. When we got to the next town, we bought two at a Shack. (One each.)

Consumer tip: Check the batteries in the store. DAMHIK.

You might have a big, fancy multimeter at home. That's great. Use with pride. Showcase it in your Snap-On rollaway tool chest.

But stash this one in your road bag.

Next to the tow rope and the jumper cables.

And prepare yourself to become part of a cosmic mystery.